Elissa Devins

Nov 14, 2024

Looking back on my recent experience canvassing in rural PA with my old friend Mia* on the eve of Election Day, I chuckle thinking that we were older, less skimpily-clad versions of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie in The Simple Life— two city fish out of water. (Though I never watched that reality TV show, I well appreciated its ridiculous interloper premise that was obvious in ads. See below.)

Chauffered by Mia (who was driving her own car) and fueled by some ginger chews and a sorry, half-empty bag of potato chips, I was the perfect, pouty Paris (Hilton). How weary I got with our two day canvassing stint and all the requisite small talk with strangers along the way. Whereas, Mia was in her element! (It should be mentioned that not so long ago, my friend ran for Congress in a very Red State and lost by a notably smaller margin than anyone could have predicted for a Democrat.) I marveled at her stamina and zeal on the trail. A total LBJ (Lyndon B. Johnson)! Mia reminded me of how the biographer Robert Caro (very roughly paraphrased) described a young Lyndon B. Johnson: he was so enthused about campaigning that he would travel inordinately long distances by foot to speak to one rural farmer. No house left unturned!

In deciding to meet up in PA to canvass, my friend and I must have forgotten Our Election Curse. For in the past, we’d rallied to poll monitor in Ohio for various Presidential elections (e.g., Gore, Kerry and Hillary); without fail, the Democrat whom we supported lost. Apologies if you aren’t ready to make light of the Election yet, but perhaps the true reason for Kamala’s failure this year was not her late entry into the race, inflation, sexism, racism or the attempts on Trump’s life that cast him as a bloody hero, it was us—two harbingers of doom!

I learned that canvassing is an acquired taste that requires certain qualities that I don’t possess— patience and bravery. Since my team did the essential work of driving and imputing data into the canvassing app on our phones, I sometimes had little to do. It must have caused my stalwart team dismay to observe my newly-honed but genuine fear of howling, cooped-up dogs; for when it was my turn to knock on a door to encourage them to vote, I often got out of our car to approach a house, heard some barking and raced back to the car for reinforcement. Unfortunately for us, we were in serious dogs-on-chains territory!

To my mild displeasure, the campaign sent us the furthest possible distance from the Harrisburg, PA base, which meant on our first day of canvassing, we found ourselves driving on dark country roads and turning into long, unmarked driveways to find addresses. Of course, before it grew dark, there was beauty to behold in farm country—the setting sun (a bleeding yolk in the sky), the verdant hills littered with grazing cows and the imposing black silos that flanked the roads like missiles.

Searching unsuccessfully in the dark for a target house on a particularly prosperous-looking farm, we spotted a gentleman in the horizon who was walking at a regular pace towards one unmarked house. Thank goodness for my two forward-thinking friends who sprang out of the car to greet him. (Every bit a slouchy Paris, I paused many beats before emerging from the car.).

Perhaps able to smell a canvasser from far, this roughly 60-year-old Caucasian man (the resident farmer) took a gander at us and scurried towards his house. Whereas, on my own I would have surely let him go, my friends hoofed it so that he couldn’t escape. What verve!

Despite his visible displeasure—standing at the door’s threshold with a frown— he listened to our brisk rah rah voting spiel and told us he was planning to vote. Unlike most people we met, he didn’t voluntarily blurt out his giddy support for Harris so I assumed he was a lost cause. (Hopefully, it wasn’t our irksome visit that provoked him to vote Red).

The next neighborhood we traversed was considerably less picturesque; overstuffed garbage bags festered on lawns and porches. There were sagging, splintered front stairs that threatened to dismember us en route to the door. On many a front lawn, we observed small trailer homes that (according to our well-informed app) housed up to eight people; these vehicles looked rusty and permanently bound to the land—any dreams of adventurous family vacations long gone. Turns out, it’s not just the dastardly wealthy who shroud their houses in elaborate ways. In the bulk of the low-income rural communities we traversed, the residents had no visible addresses on their post boxes or houses, which was stressful for us because the last thing, we wanted, was to accidentally approach a Trump supporter’s house in this open carry state. These PA folks may not have had top-of-the-line security gates and sculpted, hermetic shrubbery but they often had unsightly, amateur wire fences around their shacks and ominous “dog on premises” signs that forced us to stop and analyze whether it was wise to circumvent the barriers.

In a subsequent, more affluent neighborhood, we found ourselves parked outside a ranch-style house; the brat I am quickly eyeballed its facade and landscaping to make snap judgments about the residents.Before my friends looked down at the canvassing app on their phones that contained data about the resident’s past voting history and before knocking on the door, Cara and I entertained ourselves by trying to guess whether the residents would vote for Trump or Harris this time around. The garish terracotta fountain in the middle of driveway: Trump. But something else caught our eye:a dollhouse-sized replica of the resident’s actual house that was displayed in a glass box so one could look at the model and then turn to the actual house on the left and compare them. The dollhouse, let me say, was a high quality replica of the original—worthy of the delightful miniature house exhibit at the Chicago Institute of Art. So whimsical and unexpected! These folks would surely vote Democrat/Kamala! Or maybe the dollhouse was a narcissistic, Trump-like detail? Unclear.

When the three of us later met a very Caucasian, flagrantly Christian teacher who warmly opened the door of her salmon-colored Ranch-style house and extolled our efforts to save democracy, I felt slightly de-stabilized/air-headed( like Paris Hilton speaking to a pitchforked farmer). Admittedly, even though I rationally know that there are Evangelical Christians who aren’t Trump fans, I was surprised that this woman from these parts who generously sprinkled Lord, God, the Almighty and Blessed Be’s in our brief conversation, could actually be a Kamala supporter. (How hard to acknowledge that despite my belief that I’m an open-minded, non provincial person, I am a terrible hick).

My reaction to Trump’s victory—worrying most for trans people like my son, undocumented immigrants and other wide swaths of society— has been to seek comfort in small ways. I hope to later do more selfless things for this world soon but these small tactics are comforting: (1)Buy something snuggly. See my awesome lamb-like sweater from South Korea (photographed below) that keeps me warm and content:

You might be able to find another one of these gems on my favorite Asian fashion site, www. yesstyle.com. Just think, we can wear them in unison and form a sweet little flock!

(2) Buy yourself a new box of already sharpened pencils because there’s something satisfying about pointy pencils— full of promise;

(4) Reading books is never wrong:

(5) Use your hands to make something. Why not make some fast vinyl stickers to affix to your laptop etc? I’m not talking the real professional-grade kind that look fresh off of Etsy but more rough, hand-drawn ones. You can get heavy duty sticker paper like I did and draw directly on it with the rightly heralded POSCA acrylic markers that are my best friends.True, the end results aren’t as fancy-looking as other methods like a Cricket machine but they are quick to make. (See my sticker of Chocolate Chip Little Nobie Hopkins Lubin or Nobie, for short (my childhood guinea pig) and one of Mother in Law Kimchi because I like it that much.)

(6) For another small project try drawing an image that is regular size on a letter-sized piece of paper, e.g., copy a cool outfit you admired from Fashion Week. Then try laying it on your copy machine and reducing the size to 25% to see how incredible things look when they are small! See my drawing of an outfit from the recent Chloe show that looks pretty sweet in miniature and much less amazing in its original, regular size. For an extra challenge, try drawing things in miniature. All that focus that is required is quite calming. Drowns out other noise.

(7) Why not consider a slightly larger project? For the past few nights, I’ve been immersed in making a drawn map of my treehouses of the world tour that I want to do one day. (See the photograph of my map that is below). Sure, it looks like a child’s school project but I have no regrets. Perusing endless lists of treehouse resorts and Airbnbs around the world and then drawing forty-six of my favorite treehouses in miniature, left me elated in a way that doesn’t mesh with current times. ( If you haven’t yet tried crafting, painting, drawing, it seems like a great time to start. When you feel stressed, do something that is forgiving like abstract painting/finger painting, particularly if you suffer from perfectionism.)

I note that map- making could be exactly the wrong kind of task for a perfectionist trying to unwind. Since I am blessedly not a perfectionist, I set about making my map happily—giggling through my inane errors. See how Canada looks emaciated and many countries are missing, e.g., Japan, South Korea that, no doubt, have glorious treehouses. Also some treehouses on my map lack corresponding notes because I somehow in my late-night haze misplaced their identifying information. Finally, I included one or two treehouses that I just realized are countries with level 2 or 3 travel advisories so proceed with caution please. (Apologies to my deceased Cousin Abrasha who was a geographer and cartographer who made and collected maps. He would surely cluck at my failings.) I could have spent the time to fix all these errors, but it’s probably best to snap out of my hyper-focus on this very niche project and get actual food delivered to my house. (For when Child Protective Services shows up at my door and finds my rabid kids gnawing on their own shirt collars, my holding up my cute map will be no defense!)

Of course numbering the tree houses was a struggle so I quickly gave up on creating a sensible route around the world. (The act of applying, removing and re-applying these thin number stickers next to each treehouse as I hemmed and hawed over a route, made me bless Amazon for sending me twenty sheets of number stickers). I feel okay with this shortcoming. I mean, if you ever want to embark on this ambitious trip, get yourself a travel agent; dare I say, you can do better with a professional than relying on this raging ADHD-er with menopausal brain fog!

The following are notes on many (but not all) of the featured treehouses that I hope are useful to you if you ever want to rent one:

1. The Kitty Treehouse. Surprise, surprise it’s drawn from my imagination as no rational person would spend the considerable money to make a two-story cat treehouse with a pool. Note that it’s one of those semi-fake treehouses held up by stilts that is not actually suspended in the trees because even in my imagination I can’t fathom the requisite physics to suspend something that huge in a tree. Incidentally, I don’t even like real life cats but this one is a delight. I want it. Of course, I’ll never build it. Meow!
2. The Bert modular treehouse is not an actual treehouse you can visit or stay in. It’s a conceptual modular treehouse by a design firm called Precht that may or not be available for purchase today. The shape is inspired by the Minions’ character with one eye and by Sesame Street’s Bert. I’d order one of these modular treehouses and plunk it down on some Catskills land in a heart beat if the price was right!
3. The Klickitat Treehouse in White Salmon, WA. It can fit 6 guests. Has two bedrooms. Costs approximately $200 to $250 a night. This location is a little random for me but I’m trying to be inclusive and span the globe. White Salmon included.
4. Ravens Nest Treehouse in Columbia Falls, Montana. Sleeps 4. 2 bedrooms. 3 beds. Costs approx $199/night.The Draw: Who doesn’t love an A-frame house? And this one is a treehouse to boot! Plus, I love a treehouse with a pop of color and this one is yellow. Montana is yet another state I’ve been meaning to visit ever since my friend’s boyfriend (now her husband) summered post-college at a dude ranch and romanticized early morning labor, accidental brushes with electrical fences and smelling like horse all day.Plus the price is right. (These treehouse airbnbs can get expensive).
5. In my typical scatter-brained style, I have no idea what treehouse this is.
6. Pinecone Treehouse in the California Redwoods. Two Guests. One bedroom. One bed.The Draw: Who wouldn’t want to stay in a secluded stretch of woods in a perilously high structure that looks like a pineapple/pinecone? I might need to try this one out before I get too old to appreciate a few of its rustic elements. Check out the rave reviews about its cleanliness and novelty.Main Drawback: Seems impossible to book on Airbnb; it’s crazy expensive at $856/night and lacks heat or a/c.

See the airbnb description:“The Pinecone Treehouse is a space created to tap into your higher self, a space to rediscover your inner calm. Cradled by those living giants the California Redwoods, one is invited to live in the vision of their dreams, to quiet the mind until they can hear their inner truths, to reestablish a connection with nature and  self.  Our greatest hope is for guests of the Pinecone Treehouse to leave refreshed, inspired, reconnected, and recommitted to themselves, their dreams, and to this beautiful home that we call Mother Earth.”

I like this above part—especially tapping into my inner calm, (which lately is buried deep within). And being recommitted to myself and my dreams sounds like goals.

But I’m less sure about this: “This treehouse experience is an Adventure! and an experience you will sure be sharing with all of your friends however it is not for the faint of heart.” By faint of heart, they seem to mean this treehouse is hard to access/not for those with vertigo or mobility issues. Plus they have running water for a shower and sink but the toilet is compostable, so it might not be a fit for the most luxe traveler.

7) The Spectacular Spyglass Treehouse in Occidental, CA

Fits two people. One bedroom and one bed.
The Draw: The name alone. It’s very Series of Unfortunate Events. It’s also in the Redwoods and I’ve never been. The design, including the handcrafted furniture, is compelling (though detractors may note that it bears some resemblance to a poop log or more favorably, a cocoon). Plus the one bed they offer is a king sized one and that seems rare in these smaller treehouses. There’s an Infared Sauna and Cedar Hot Tub for those inclined. The Drawback: The cost at $1150/night.Woah. Forget college for the kids/early retirement. Forget the Topo Chicos.
That said, it does sound luxe and I would never judge you for blowing your savings on a luxe treehouse vacay!

As written in the airbnb description, amenities include:
* Fully equipped kitchenette with a stove, toaster oven, mini-fridge, coffee maker, coffee grinder, and Nutri bullet blender.
* Private bathroom with a refreshing rainfall shower, spa-quality towels, and eco-friendly toiletries.
* Far Infrared Sauna.
* High-speed Wi-Fi to stay connected with the outside world.
* Floor-to-ceiling windows offering stunning forest views from every corner.
* Sustainable features, including solar panels and a rainwater collection system.
* Outdoor seating area where you can relax, unwind, and immerse yourself in nature’s embrace.
* Natural Cedar Hot Tub with Ionizer and UV
* Comfortable King size bed with hotel-quality linens

8. Observatory Tree House in Stanton, KY. 4 guests, 2 bedrooms, 2 beds, half bathThe Draw:The $199/night price seems reasonable. I’m all in for the canopied walk ways, the subtly-rendered pirate theme (unlike Disney’s Pirates of the Carribean) and the delightful-sounding, screened-in hammock lounge. I love a good hang! The views of the Red River Gorge are a plus and if I can get my kids to embrace outdoor physical exertion, the nearby hiking sounds like bliss.Drawbacks: The steps/\ladder leading to the house are not recommended for small or unsupervised children. (You should probably leave your Louboutins at home.) The bathroom situation is not for the faint of heart: there is a private composting outhouse. I note there’s the option of using the guest shower and bathroom at Headquarters. (Though I have no idea how far Headquarters is from the treehouse). Finally, this sounds like a place that might be a tad cold in the winter as insulation is not in every room and there is not heat in every room so bring your hooded Snuggies and heartiest layers.
9. The Sulfer Ridge Treehouse Resort, Nashville, TNDamn, I should have checked before including this resort. I think it’s closed.
10. Smokey Mountains Sanctuary Treehouse Resort. TN
    The Draw: There are twelve different treehouses to chose from. The first one, “Tree-mendous Fun,” speaks to me. It offers sleep space for up to 6 guests as well as” a 20-foot slide, bucket pulley, escape hatch, secret ladder, swings, rope climb, drink chute, and more!” As my kids and I are fans of Rube Goldberg contraptions and Inspector Gadget, I’m sold. I like that every treehouse is furnished with custom-made furniture, e.g., “hidden beds that effortlessly roll out with the simple turn of a wheel, innovative crank system bunk beds that unveil secret tables and chairs, convenient drink chutes designed to transport any size can or bottle to the lower deck, and various other captivating features.” I may never grow up.Drawbacks: $400/night might be cost-prohibitive.
11. Asheville’s Luxury Treehouse, Asheville, NC. 1 bedroom (Queen bed and double sofa), sleeps 4
    The Draw: I once considered doing a low-residency writing residency at Warren Wilson, which would mean two weeks a year in Asheville; the hiking and artsy-vibe of Asheville—divine. At 1743.8 sq ft, it’s big for a treehouse. I’m all for its heated floors and short drive (15 minutes) to the Asheville center. Reviewers say it’s clean and the beds are comfy and for my husband, bed comfort is essential! (I could sleep on a rock)Drawback: $468/night
12. Winivan Farm, CT. A luxury cottage resort. The Treehouse Cottage holds four people and is a little under 800 sq feet. The Draw: Looks super luxe, clean and relaxing. The one bed is a King-sized one. Normally I’d pick the treehouse option over all but there are some themed cottages—the Artist, the Helicopter (that appears to have a helicopter inside of it) and others that are compelling.Drawbacks: The Treehouse Cottage costs $999.99/night and many of the cottages are even more expensive. Plus, I realize how narrow-minded I sound but I also don’t usually run to CT as my go-to vacation spot, though I recognize the natural beauty of the state.I clearly can’t shake the Stepford Wives/ snotty white folks association. (Plus their beaches are rot.) I once took a day trip with a mom friend and our newborn babies on a train to Greenwich, CT which my husband found mildly amusing. (It’s kind of like a hoodie that doesn’t hoodie. It’s the vacation that doesn’t vacation.) I’d be okay never returning!
13. Mid-Century Glass Octagon in the Berkshires 4 guests, 1 bedroom, 2 beds (Queen and double bed) and 2 baths. It costs $350/night.I basically dream of owning a place like this—simple and modest in size so I don’t take on more piddling domestic duties. All that natural beauty to take in. Of course it’d be the perfect space to write and hang out with friends and family. (Maybe I’d add two more bedrooms for some privacy or my kids would probably boycott).The Draw: the views, the coziness and 20 minute drive to Great Barrington, MA.Drawbacks: Not sure. Maybe the 20 minute drive to lovely Great Barrington. Call me a princess or a glutton but if desperation arises, I may want that amazing SoCo ice cream in town pronto and 20 minutes is excess.
14. Willow Treehouse, Willow, NY. 2 people max. One bed. It costs roughly $375/night.I’ve been eyeing this place for a romantic getaway with my husband and/or a writing get away but it’s always booked. (I hate knowing that my love of treehouses is completely unoriginal.) It’s so simple and clean looking with cute design. What could go wrong? The Draw: It’s 15 minutes from Woodstock yet nice and secluded. (There’s a hot tub, which might be nice for some but not a selling point for me. I like natural hot springs not the average potentially bacteria-infested hot tub. ) You can cook as there’s a little stove but why on earth? This place is tiny so at night you will positively stew in kitchen odors! (This reminds me of my friend’s son who recently explained that kids at his school pull pranks like cooking salmon in the microwave so the entire school stinks. He also noted a kid put a pencil in the microwave, which is never a good idea thanks to that hidden metal! ).Also there’s no wifi so that’s a nice way to disconnect. Drawbacks: It’s 15 minutes from Woodstock. If this is a long vacation, I like a quick zip into town (5 minutes by car is ideal). Also there’s a narrow, tall ladder to get up to the house so you’ll need to pack light and I never pack light.
15. Hah again, not sure what treehouse this one is.
16. The Treehouse at Moose Meadow (Open May – October), Waterbury, VT. For 2 adults and 2 small kids. One queen bedroom loft, plus one or two more guests on cots on the first floor. For more than two people, a charge of $25 per person per night is added to the rate. The Draw: The nightly cost comes with a yummy eggy breakfast prepared by a chef. I love all varieties of eggs so I can think of nothing nicer than downing eggs in bed or on the terrace of my treehouse. There’s also on-site hiking and a swimmable (albeit cold) lake if I want to take a break from eating eggs.Drawbacks: I can’t find the price online (which is probably my fault as I suck at Internet research) but I can tell it’s expensive. I gave you the link so you can look that info up, lazy bones!
17. The Dune Manta Treehouse in Mexico’s Playa Viva Resort. It comfortably sleeps 4 with a king bed, two day beds, and a private bathroom. It costs $735 a day.The draw: This pretty treehouse is made of two buildings in the trees. It is meant to look like a Manta Ray, which I best look up to appreciate. The room has a beautiful ocean view and is part of a luxury resort with lots of amenities. The high cost includes three gourmet meals a day so that better be more than packaged oatmeal and those airplane apple juices with the aluminum peel-back. Drawbacks: the price
18. Treehouse Cabanas of the Ikal Tulum Hotel, Tulum, Mexico, $336 night, 2-4 people.Sorry but I included this too fast without reading reviews etc. It looks just alright but I see there are better reviewed options. Just know there are a few options for this sort of thing in Tulum.
19. Casa del Arbol, El Salvador, El Salvador $131/night for 2 people, one bedroom (one double bed and sofa). The Draws: The views of El Pilon hill, cozy, clean interiors, nearby restaurants and good price. I am fairly sure there are a zillion treehouses to chose in South America so I apologize for these scant offerings.I would probably skip #19 and go to Ecuador to see this treehouse , La Casa del Arbol in Baños, Ecuador. Though, note that you can’t stay in this treehouse; it’s a day trip.The Draw: This treehouse is built on the edge of one of the mountains next to the Tungurahua volcano and there are two swings overlooking the volcano. There is a mini zip line and a restaurant on site.Drawbacks: There have been recent eruptions and I can’t think of a less safe-looking place to be during an eruption. Though I understand, they recently reinforced the treehouse with steel beams, I’d tread with caution. After recently watching Netflix’s The Volcano: Rescue from Whakaari, I’d acquire some basic knowledge about this particular volcano. I also have to add, I think it’s mildly amusing that these swings that clearly swing very high and are so close to a precipice, only recently got the addition of seatbelts. Wheee.
20. Unfortunately, I rashly added this beautiful Rwanda treehouse—smitten with its design. Sure, it looks magnificent but I won’t dwell on it for several reasons, e.g., the current Level 3 travel advisory.
21. Constantia Treehouse in Capetown South Africa. I got confused and didn’t see that this treehouse was in South Africa so please ignore it’s current North African map location. The second strike against this humble trip planner: I just learned that the treehouse is not available to rent; it was built for an individual, supremely lucky client. If I had all the money in the world, the responsible architectural firm would be in my pocket and I’d build this brilliant treehouse at all my favorite destinations. I’m positively giddy. See how they covered the glass walls with Red Cedar battens? Makes me wish I was good at spacial reasoning and math so I could been an architect.
22. Nay Palad Bird Nest at the Segera Retreat in Kenya, Africa.The Draw: This drop-dead gorgeous treehouse is in the Segera Retreat, a luxe safari resort. I love that the resort receives no income from Bird Nest bookings. Instead, a significant portion of the proceeds go to the Zeitz Foundation for its land conservation and wildlife protection programs in the Laikipia region.But really, noble cause aside, check out this description: “ Perched amid the treetops on a river teeming with wildlife, the Bird Nest offers views of the plains by day that are matched only by those of the stars at night. In the morning, guests awaken to the magical sounds of animals at play.” (As I’ve never gone on a safari, I might want to know what animals we’re dealing with. Surely some safari animals make less soothing sounds than others. My husband who is a bad sleeper only sleeps to a sound machine of perfectly calibrated rain drops and with two foam ear plugs in his ears so I am deeply interested.)Drawbacks: I am not sure if this resort lies in the high risk parts of Kenya but I gotta flag the level 2 travel advisory for Kenya. Another drawback: the cost is so exorbitant, you have to call to find out what it is. Bye-bye Nay Palad!
23. Next, I have a treehouse, the ChulaVista Dome that is inCantabria, Spain. It fits 3 guests, has 1 bed and 1.5 bathrooms.The Draw: The mountains and coastline are supposedly epic and it’s near a city I’ve never heard of called Santander that is supposedly a little known gem that most tourists have not yet tapped. How intriguing to find a European city that has been successfully gate-kept! (Of course, I am not sure this is true. I’m the least looped-in human when it comes to travel trends). The treehouse itself is an affordable, modern retreat overlooking what looks like a gasp-worthy garden. It has a working bathroom, wifi and a gas barbeque so this is less rustic than expected at this price point of $195 night. No compostable toilets!
24. Treehouse Spa in Eauze France. Four guests. $268/night.The Draw: “An entire 7-hectare estate with a duo of private cabins, the treehouse and its private outbuilding the jacuzzi cabin, both in the heart of nature with our peaceful animals in the park. The 2 cabins and the park will be exclusively reserved for you, there will be no one else.” For a modest fee, you can get breakfast served to you in the treehouse.Drawbacks: Don’t see any.
25. Pigna pinecone treehouse at the Malga Priu farmhouse retreat in Taravisio, Italy. Another treehouse inspired by pinecones but this is roomier than the preceding pinecone treehouse. This looks like a dream to me and actually may be one because I can’t find a way to rent this one online, other than a Facebook page. Maybe you can find it.Read this description and weep (if it can’t be rented): “The living areas are spread across three levels and connected by wooden stairs. Curved windows with 360-degree views and sliding doors on the first level, along with two sheltered balconies on the second level, frame spectacular Alpine views. “
26. Snake treehouse, not sure of location or if its just a concept. Love the design though.
27. The Woodsman’s Treehouse, Dorset England. 1 bedroom. 2 people. $522/night

The Draw: The treehouse looks like a winner from what I can see online and it’s supposedly in an “Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty” near the Jurassic Coastline, wherever that is.

It has a king-size mattress, leather arm chairs, a bespoke kitchen, a spacious deck with an open-air tree shower and wood-fired pizza oven. The top deck has an open air hot tub and private sauna. How fun that this treehouse is part of a wider glamping facility that has a handful of Shepherds Huts, Bell Tents and quirky Tipis. I could give them all a spin.

Drawback: Again, the price.

28. Lovtag’s Treehouse Hotel in Hadsund, Denmark . For up to 4 people. Private bath. Approximately $219/night. This is a must for me. The draw: To surround myself with this level of beauty and calm would be a privilege. Plus the cost seems totally reasonable. I gotta applaud this Nordic minimalism— an aesthetic far-removed from my life—that I revere nonetheless. This is the O.G. of treehouses. Like none of this house-on-stilts b.s. here; this treehouse “is built 6-8 meters up the tree; the cabins enclose the tree itself and the tree threads through the middle of the cabin.”

#29 and #30, I will skip these in the interest of length.

31. Tranquil Resort, the Serenetree Tree villa in Kolagapaara, Kerala India. Costs $296 a night. Sleeps 2 -4people with a King bed and two singles.The draw: This place is stupendously luxe and huge. It overlooks a coffee plantation and sits 35 feet from the forest floor. It’s easily accessible for all ages. I could live and work in the large bathroom. One of these beauties has a Jackfruit tree growing through it! Plus there’s onsite hiking, cooking classes, a shared pool and bird watching for those who lean that way.
32. 5 Bedroom Beach Pool Reserve at the Soneva Kiri resort on the Thai Island Ko Kood (Thailand’s East Coast.) Meant for15 people. 5 bedrooms.Almost 20,000 square feet.This is pure fantasy. The property comes with a treehouse, a dedicated spa area, a gym, steam rooms, a TV lounge and a water slide. Yes of course, price upon request.
33. While we are fantasizing, check out these Treehouse villas in Koh Yao, Thailand for $450/night. There’s too much amazingness to write about. My fingers will tire.
34. This more modest Thai treehouse is temporarily closed.
35. Firefly Eco Lodge in Ubud, Bali Indonesia. 2 guests. Only $50/night.The draw: Sleeping in what has been described as a big woven bird’s nest high up in the trees. It’s minutes from central Ubud and there’s a small spa and a shared pool. This is for the fit and adventurous as you need to hike to reach the property and once there, there’s a long ladder you have to climb up for 5 meters.Drawbacks: Said long ladder is so perilous, it is advised that guests do not drink it while climbing and not to drink in general to avoid accidents. If you dream of drinking to excess in a treehouse, this is not the one for you. There is no a/c. There are shared bathrooms and it did not escape me that the property description indicates that said bathrooms are “as clean as your neighbors leave it,”—an admission not often found in a hotel’s own description! So maybe no neat freaks, folks who dislike cats (as one resides there), lizards and/or dragon flys that abound.The drawbacks: are kind of folded up in the above section.
36. Norway Woodnest Treehouse Hotel , Norway. Sleeps 4 people. Starts at $320/night.The draw: You will be in the woods with a view of the majestic Hardanger Fjord and from the photos on their site, this might be the prettiest view you will ever see in your lifetime. The treehouse design makes me swoon and I want to be there NOW. They have amenities like flushing toilets, heated floors and wifi. Staying there requires an intense 25-30 minute-long hike that sounds ill-advised for your average toddler and/or middle aged-elderly person. This is my wake-up call to hit the gym more than once a week. For I’d like this hike to be dignified—not a Med-Evac situation!
37. Luna Sphere Treehouse. I had thought this was located in Sweden but it’s actually in Vancouver Island, Canada. It sleeps 1 or 2 people and costs $282/night. It has one double sized bed.The draw: I suspect one night is all I need in this sphere. For I may have nightmares when I go to bed that I’m inside a bowling ball and someone has hurled it down a lane for a strike. However, because I like mini homes, this one still intrigues me. As a fan of Murphy beds, I welcome the fact that the double bed tucks up on an angle to the ceiling in the day time, and eases down to its resting place via an electrically operated hydraulic lift system. As I’d only stay there one night or two, I’d forgive the absence of a/c in the summer and the presence of these ubiquitous, and at least for me, untested heated floors that luxe treehouses always boast of. If I can get my husband who is no fan of confinement, to jam himself into this ball for a night with me, he might actually enjoy the speaker system. He may like less “the electric composting toilet outhouse at the base of the sphere and the separate bathroom with running water that is located within 50 meters of Luna at the central bath house facility.” Me too.
38. I should say that perhaps I don’t need to travel the world for treehouses when Sweden’s Treehouse hotel has eight very innovative, fun-looking treehouses. Take the highly realistic-looking U.F.O Treehouse that is built for 5 people. Supposedly it sways a bit, which bodes poorly for sea-sick types or those with sporadic, hard-to- predict car sickness (like this writer). It contains one double bed and three shorter single beds. It costs roughly $500/night including taxes for 2 people and for each extra adult $86/night and extra kid $50.The Treehouse Hotel’s photos of this treehouse are lovably invested in creating a sci-fi fantasy; see the smoke surrounding the UFO as if there truly are martians inside — ready to beam us up. I imagine the demand for this hotel is through the roof—-particularly for us anxious Americans wishing to escape these days. I definitely want to take my family to this one, and just to be safe, if it’s not fantasy but real and actual martians want to enslave us, I’ll bring my most worldly possessions, e.g. my cherished photos and favorite art supplies.
39. Another treehouse at the Treehouse Hotel, is a simple red one confusingly named The Blue Cone. I love the discordance! (So post-modern.) It is built for 4 people and contains one double bed and two single beds on the loft. One notable thing about this treehouse is that it has easy accessibility via a ramp so it’s suitable for young children and those with mobility issues. (I am picturing my elderly 89-year-old mom with her trusty roll-ator here on vacation with us and it’s making me smile (and simultaneously, be sad). She’d love the adventure!). It costs approximately $58/night for 2 people incl VAT and $86/night more for each additional adult and $50/night for each extra kid.I can’t help worry that there are no online photos of the sleeping loft only the tiny sitting space with the window view. I need to see the bed situation, people! Though at this very low price point, those two stiff chairs by the window might be what they have in mind for us.
40. I’ve been admiring the Mirror Cube Treehouse on Social Media for years. (It’s also part of the Treehouse Hotel in Sweden). It’s designed for two people and includes one double bed, seating space and a toilet. It’s easily accessible and costs $564/night including VAT.
    I love a good optical illusion so this is a must stay for me. Here’s a description: “The treehouse measures 4x4x4 metres. The room is surrounded by mirror walls which both reflect and blend in with the surroundings. A tree trunk grows through the room and is enclosed by an aluminium frame, which forms the base of the room. All walls are covered in mirror glass. On the outside, this gives the illusion that the room is glass from floor to ceiling. However, on the inside, the walls are light plywood, with windows on three of them as well as on the ceiling. How very David Blaine (or whoever is a more current magician)! This is indeed perfect for a romantic getaway; you know, turn up those inside lights and do the deed—your naked bodies in all their glory— illuminated and multiplied! I surely don’t associate mirrored walls (other than maybe Versaille’s Hall of Mirrors) with elegance but this treehouse looks classy. I think of the time my friend’s brother produced a play in a mixed use space in Times Square during Guiliani’s regime and we the audience sat on the half roped off for legit activities (like non-pornographic) theater productions. Though when we looked at the other side of the room, there were mirrored walls, velour curtains and a seedy peep show. This treehouse has one odd detail that is duly noted in its description: “ on dark nights when the lights are on, you can actually sense that there is someone moving behind the pieces of mirror glass that are not covered by walls.” What? Terrifying. Who is standing outside this house at night looking for inside movement? I watch too many true crime documentaries to appreciate this detail.One other detail is concerning: “hidden behind the mirror facade is a balcony that allows you to go outside the box without being seen.” This is just confusing. Why all this subterfuge on vacation? Maybe Putin needs this level of intrigue and obfuscation but the common tourist? (Though I guess sauntering onto the balcony in your skivvies has some appeal).
41. The Glazed Perch, California??I mistakenly attributed this one to Sweden because it’s so darn cute and unique but I think it’s located in California. I’ve been unable to figure out if it’s available to rent. What makes my heart flutter is that the facade is decorated with colorful broken plates. It’s like living inside one of Julian Schnabel’s broken plate paintings. The ultimate DYI project. Someone find me an airbnb link!Let me discuss two bird-related treehouses on my map: #42. The Biosphere and #43. the Bird’s Nest—both treehouses in Sweden that are part of the Treehouse Hotel. Let me clear the air: I dislike birds. I’ve written about their patently egregious combination of soft feathers and prickly bones beneath and the creepy fact that there are basically hand bones inside a bird’s wings. And when I found a bird skeleton with a few clingy feathers on my patio this year, this prevented me from opening the patio door for weeks. I could not go anywhere near its remains, hoping for a nor’easter to pass our way. But I recognize the novelty and design of these two treehouses. The Biosphere is every birder’s dream as there are like hundreds of bird feeders on its facade; supposedly ,you can sit inside and watch a wide range of birds feed on the very house in which you reside. But remind me not to watch The Birds, particularly before renting this treehouse. I am hoping that once tucked inside the Biosphere, there are not hundreds of birds in my line of vision at once but that they arrive in quiet, orderly lines—respectful of my anxiety.44.Let me skip this one. It’s the 7th room treehouse in Sweden and looks lovely. See for yourself!45.The Superman Treehouse, Sweden. Ah, it’s red like Superman’s cape. Love it. Sleeps two adults and maybe a small child. Costs $272/night and includes breakfast and linens. I want to rent this to try to catch the Northern Lights.46.I can’t remember the details of this particular treehouse but I see with my eyes that it is a Birdhouse treehouse and I think I’ve had enough of those.Take Comfort, xoxoCMCA*i changed my friend’s name as she’s a private person!** I also changed this friend’s name.

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