The disjointed musings of a Korean-American adoptee exploring her identities through making dolls, drawing, writing about how Korean expressions relate to my life, the highs and lows of ADHD and sharing my q and a’s with creative Korean-Americans. I hope you laugh or find me sometimes thought-provoking and relatable..
Crazy Middle-Class Asian
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Kurt Vonnegut( my candy-hoarding conspirator) and re-visiting a childhood experience
When I was nine years old, I had a brief conversation with writer Kurt Vonnegut that I still remember vividly. As I wasn’t a particularly literate or precocious child, I had no knowledge of Kurts’ oeuvres or his place in the literary canon but he was the first novelist I’d ever met. Mom and I…
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부조리, eoliseog-eun (the Korean word for “absurd”) and my party idea #3: a monthly absurd trend/art-making club
I’ve been cutting myself some slack for not writing my novel at night, and instead spending evenings listening to records with my husband, watching shows like One Day or Expats, solo (because my husband is a very picky TV watcher who holds out for a capstone show every ten years) or scrolling through social media.…
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남의 떡이 더 커 보인다 — (Korean expression that translates as “Other people’s rice cakes look bigger”). My mumblings about Saltburn and unwieldly envy
I recently read an article by a Korean author, that partly attributed South Korea’s economic recovery from poverty to prosperity to the envious, comparative nature of South Koreans. This made me pause for I rarely think of envy as a positive force/emotion. When I envy a friend for having a lavish country house or for…
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할많하않 (hal-mahn-ha-ahn): An abbreviation for “할 말은 많지만 하지 않겠다”. It means “I have a lot to say, but I won’t.”
It is no secret that the holidays can be a fraught time for many people, given the decreased sunlight, financial strain from gift expenses and of course increased contact with relatives in intense spurts. I think of a friend’s tale of her father losing his job right before Christmas one year and looking out her kitchen…
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Letter to Ohio
Q: Why do all the trees in Michigan lean south? A: Ohio Sucks You’re my favorite punching bag. I’ve spent a lifetime mocking you and other states I’ve respectfully disowned. Sorry, l’m a regionalist and a bit of a tool. I like to say the word “Boca” for Boca Raton, Florida. (It has a funny…
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어려운 사람, elyeoun salam (A difficult person) and a test of how difficult you are
Sounding a lot like Tolstoy, I posit that all agreeable people are alike but difficult people are difficult in their own way. A rash of recent interactions with people I consider difficult lately has me wondering what it means to be a difficult person, whether there’s value in being categorized as such and finally, whether,…
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Letter to My Therapist
Dear N, Though you’ve been my therapist for many years, you are shrouded in mystery. I’ve only unearthed some basics through online searches. (You are Jewish. You are probably married. You have an adult daughter and you write well.) Though I’m a naturally nosy person, I abide by the general code of therapy and rarely…
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Letter to my Long (Second) toe
Dear Long (Second )Toe, I was 39 when I truly noticed you on my right foot–a petulant worm riddled with arthritis. I’d been steadfast in ignoring you my whole life. After all, you’re no showman. That’s Big Toe. He’s got rizz. (Yes, I used that slang). He’s sturdy and competent at most things. But he’s…
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Gae-gwa-chun-sun (to shift from being evil to good) and your Dark-factor score (perfect for dating profiles and resumes)
When I think of people who morph from evil to good, my first fuzzy, ill-informed association: General Muammar Gaddafi of Libya. As you may recall, he was the fearsome dictator turned chipper sycophant who tried to lure Americans to Libya’s shores for beach vacations. A subsequent Google search for evil to good, drew up a…
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한Han*, Hair Rollers and controversial hand gestures
*Han is a Korean word that every Korean person seems to define differently. It’s a collective feeling of “sorrow, regret, grief, resentment, a dull ache in the soul…Some Koreans believe it comes from the nation’s history of being invaded. Others say the strict class system in Korea’s past is responsible. Regardless of where han originated,…
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Chloe Kim, slanted-eye pride, “vibe shifts”* and platform phobia
In the Korean dramas I watch, the characters have a childish but charming habit of raising two fists and saying “fighting!” in a sing-song manner to show solidarity. Think of all the uses for this expression! Your husband comes home from work to a messy apartment and the fridge is a barren wasteland: smile, raise…
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Signals,Tarot Cards and the Year Ahead
Approaching the New Year, I note the obvious: gems, witchcraft-lite and tarot cards are ubiquitous. We are clearly looking for guidance and some assurance about our future and these things are easier to acquire and gift than sessions with a therapist. Visiting friends in the New Jersey suburbs not too long ago, I picked up…
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Trollstice (Traditions) and Treehouses
I’ve a newfound respect for my mother for raising me with any semblance of tradition; it turns out, for many of us, it’s not easy to make the considerable effort to celebrate holidays and create family traditions. But Poppy made it look so easy in Trolls Holiday (a Netflix film most of you may have…
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Honeycombs*, Hermits and Hotels (*minor spoilers for Squid Game)
I am not alone in my obsession with class warfare, i.e, gobbling up anything involving the French Revolution and enjoying shows that vilify the wealthy such as Succession and Squid Game. One can’t escape the theme of class conflict in popular culture. During a recent car ride, a friend introduced me to the only podcast…
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Creativity–how to find it and keep it going (without being stuck in a bathroom) and other musings
Today, I woke my teen son by holding the below draft of a life-sized doll up to my own face and doing a jig before his full length mirror. It garnered a smile so perhaps my Natsumi doll will be the bad cop to my good, and I’ll bring her out to deliver any unwelcome…
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Are you a Moon-jin or an In-sa?
In-sa (인싸) is a Korean slang word used to describe an insider or a cool kid who is immersed in pop culture/culture in general Someone who is a moon-jin is the exact opposite of an in-sa. A moon-jin person can’t keep up with pop culture and current trends. As this blog pretty much began with…
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The Honor of Being Asian (this blog’s 40th post)
You may have noticed similar signage around the city affirming Asian identity. I certainly have. Each sign takes me out of the moment I’m in and leaves me a tad flummoxed and giggly. I mean, it’s weird having been Asian my whole life without fanfare, to suddenly be so aggressively celebrated! I have to wonder…
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Interview with Interesting Korean-American #2, food writer Justine Lee
As part of my somewhat fumbling efforts to interview interesting Korean-Americans who are not blood relatives, I now ask everyone I know if they know any interesting Koreans/ Korean-Americans that I could pester. Fortunately for me, my clever family friend Rachel, didn’t miss a beat in replying “I know one” and promptly connecting her friend…
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The Great Kimchi War
Some nations fight over resources like land, oil and/or diamonds. I recently read that China and South Korea have tussled over kimchi, that is the origin of the heralded fermented cabbage; supposedly around the end of 2020, China registered the kimchi recipe with the International Organization for Standardization. Some Koreans were up in arms that…
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Eating Rice Cakes While Lying Down누워서 떡 먹기
This Korean expression makes me guffaw. I’ve noticed there are quite a few Korean expressions involving rice cakes. I mean, who can blame Koreans for being obsessed with them? They are quite glorious–fun to gnaw and a friend to any sauce. This translates into “something that comes easy to someone”/ “a walk in the park.”…
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Seu bul jae-Korean expression meaning self imposed disaster
For someone intimately familiar with Seu bul jae, I’m intrigued when people make the same mistakes over and over, despite having a rational understanding of the negative consequences. I think of the Psychology of Learning Class that I took at Carleton College that demanded I teach a slow-witted pigeon named Lola, the Skinner method of…
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Paek-Pok, to be brutally honest
Paek-pok is another Korean expression I enjoy. Supposedly, it’s used the following way: A:Do you like my haircut?” B:” It kind of ages you and makes you look round in the face” A: “Ouch. Way to paek-pok me.” My discussion of brutal honesty begins with a little story involving my Cousin M, a now elderly…
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Clowns, get dressed
I’ve enjoyed writing stories about real life Vixens but what about the Clowns? (See this blog’s prior Vixen 1-4 posts). In terms of self-care–grooming and style–many of us have been Clowns during quarantine/this past year; some of us are career Clowns, tickled that our ways have been normalized. No need for shame if your wardrobe…
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Letter to Usha
Elissa Devins Apr 11, 2025 Dear Usha, I recently had eggs at the Smith on the UWS with my longtime friends—two curly haired, close-in-age sisters who complete each other’s sentences and make me curse the fact that I was an only child who was forced to mumble late night confidences to my pet guinea pig, Chocolate…
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Tigyeoktaegyeok–a Korean word for a small quarrel, squabble between usually two close people regarding something unimportant
As someone with ADHD, or maybe just as a human living in these times, I have to be cajoled to read the news. Some weekends, my teen son kindly reads me summaries from the NY Times, and an article or two that piques my interest. Though I am not yet a senior citizen and can still…
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Easy Craft Idea: Homemade Scratch Cards for Valentines or anytime
I’ve spent my month-long leave from my legal services job doing um, writing residencies at various Manhattan eateries. Sitting at the Smith where there is no Wifi (indicating it’s not a place for writers to linger), and trying to squeeze my laptop onto a table with my outsized Shakshuka, for hours at a time, I’ve worked on…
Crazy middle class asian 